15 Funny Valentine’s Day Poems & Jokes for Greeting Cards

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Valentine’s Day is often associated with soft, romantic gestures. However, if you’re not the romantic type, it doesn’t mean you can’t make your loved one smile. Metro.co.uk has compiled a list of cheeky jokes and poems to spice up your Valentine’s Day message. Whether you write them in a card, text them, or whisper them into your partner’s ear, these jokes are sure to make your loved one blush.

From the outright dirty to the naughty, try adding one of these lines to your Valentine’s message:

“I like your style, I like your class – but most of all I like your ass.”

“Do you present the weather? Because I predict a few extra inches tonight.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue – my knickers get wet thinking of you.”

“Let’s play carpenter so I can nail you.”

“You remind me of a balloon – I want to blow you.”

“What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.”

“You look handsome, you look sweet – lie down over there and I’ll take a seat.”

“I’m training to be an astronaut and my first mission is to explore Uranus.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue – I’m using my hand thinking of you.”

“We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows – you’re hot and I want to be on top of you.”

“I love you around the clock, I love your body, your mind and your soul – and not just your massive heart.”

“You’re like breakfast: great in bed!”

“I’m an archaeologist. Do you have a large bone you’d like me to examine?”

“I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime.”

“Roses are red, violets are fine – I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.”

Whether you prefer to be naughty or nice this Valentine’s Day, these jokes are sure to make your loved one laugh. So don’t be afraid to get a little risqué and make this Valentine’s Day one to remember!

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